Lemons vs. Hunter House Harriers

Return Of The King

After the resounding 5-4 drubbing of Wayland Rovers the previous week, morale and belief in the Lemons camp was reported to be sky high. Similarly, Hunter House Harriers had reason to be optimistic about this fixture having not lost this season, posting a 6-4 victory against the Lemons in October and winning their previous match 12-2. The match was poised to be a classic. 

Manager/Captain King sent each team member (with the exception of Mattinson due to living arrangements) a motivational text message in order to raise self belief. Technologically advanced King decided to break with communication tradition, namely actually talking to your team prior to matches in favour of a text based method challenging each team member to put on their game face and bring their 'A' game. As well as a quid. 

The build up was marred with the news that Catling and Rich would be unavailable due to seashell painting/ robe stitching commitments respectively. This unexpected news will surely lead to a form of retribution from King, possibly in the form of suspensions or 'forgetting' to let them know about games. 

This led to a reshuffle of the team with Matt Gench being recalled and his mate Jake who boasts the most prolific goals to games ratio for the Lemons having played one, scored one. 

The Lemons began with King in goal, Mattinson and Jones in defence, Tom and Fenwick in midfield, Kearney as a solitary striker and Gench and Jake on the bench. 

The game began with the Harriers doing all the running, testing the Lemons defence with a series of testing balls, all of which were dealt with expertly by Jones, Mattinson and King on the rare occasions when the defenders missed the ball. Close attention was given to the burly Harriers striker who performed a nice range of stepovers, feints, dummies and other pointless but pretty tricks. He tested the defence and King on several occasions and came close to scoring with an elaborate backheel which was saved. After weathering the early storm, the Lemons remembered that they were there to play football, not watch a tricks demonstration and Fenwick and vertically challenged striker Kearney went close with long range drives before the first breakthrough came. Kearney bustled his way down the wing before squaring the ball to the onrushing Jake who lashed his shot to the left of the goalkeeper without even breaking stride. 1-0 

Not being accustomed to defending a lead ensured that the Lemons looked particularly susceptible in the next few minutes. Sure enough, the Harriers resident trickster was the source of the goal, performing a lovely pirouette followed by a triple salko on the edge of the Lemons box, completely bamboozling the defence before slipping his shot low to King's right into the bottom corner. His smug cry of 'Get In!' following the goal incensed Jones. And rightly so. 1-1 

 
The remainder of the half saw both teams create chances to go further front yet the Lemons defence superbly marshalled by a combination of Gench, Jones and Mattinson proved impossible to breach. Frustrations nearly boiled over as the stocky Harriers striker took a fancy to Jones' shirt and attempted to snatch it from his back. Either that or he was trying to kiss Jones. Sensing a possible personal space violation, Jones cleverly threw the powerful striker to the ground. And then it was half time!

Half Time 1-1

King's half time team talk looked to have been a waste of time as the Harriers began the second half faster than a fat girl at an all you can eat buffet. Within seconds King was tested with a long range shot which he did his best to make a complete meal of, managing to scramble the ball out for a corner. The ensuing minutes were filled with constant, unrelenting Harriers pressure and only a combination of good goalkeeping, lucky goalkeeping and superb defending prevented the Harriers from going ahead. There was another goal in the game and for long periods it looked as if the top of the table Harriers would be the ones to benefit. However a quickly taken free kick from Gench found Fenwick in space on the right wing. Fenwick's low, powerful, angled shot nestled into the net before the Harriers keeper could move.  2-1 

 
The celebrations following Fenwick's goal showed how much it meant to the Lemons although the players were all aware that the Harriers team still had goals in them. However it was the Lemons who applied the pressure with the pint sized Kearney creating chances and generally making a nuisance of himself. A long ball out of defence found Kearney through on goal but was wrestled/kicked/shoved out of the way by a Harriers defender. Although a red card should have been the only outcome, the referee who worked to the 'whoever shouts the loudest gets the decision' policy somehow decided that the offence was not worth an early bath for the Harriers player. This decision angered the Lemons and concentration slipped, with King being called unnecessarily into action due to defensive lapses. Thankfully King had decided to take his own textual advice and brought his 'A' game, saving everything that the Harriers could throw at him. Despite only threatening sporadically, the Lemons increased their lead against the run of play with prolific sub-midget striker Kearney adding to his impressive goals tally, following in at the far post to poke the ball home from close range. 3-1

 
Despite renewed calls for concentration from shouty King, the Lemons decided that they wanted to make the game more interesting and attempted to let the Harriers back into the game through a series of misplaced passes. Thankfully the rotund King proved to be an intimidating barrier, repelling the best efforts of the Harriers players. The last few minutes saw the team actually pay attention to the manager with a series of committed challenges from all players as well as some impressive ball retaining skills when in possession. The fun-boy forward for the Harriers decided that he would rather run around kicking people than play football which resulted in the heroic Mattinson ending the game with a dent in his leg. After withstanding long periods of pressure the final whistle went, signalling many celebrations from the Lemons players who will go into next weeks game against local rivals Beadles Hand as favourites.

Final Score 3-1


Player Ratings

Dave King - 10 (Man of the Match) - Remembered how to play after 3 months out injured. Receives the Man Of The Match award as this may be the only good game he has all season.
Charlie Mattinson - 9 - Defensive rock.  Made challenges, won headers. Nothing more could have been asked of him. And ended the game with a hole in his leg. Get well soon!!
Indy Andy Jones - 9 - Heroic. And managed to resist the advances of the Harriers striker commendably.
Matt Gench - 9 - Superb return. Marshalled the defence as well as helping out the midfield
Adam Fenwick - 9 - Capped a great performance with a sweet strike.
Tom - 9 - As committed and reliable as ever. Works quietly but is an essential member of the team.
Simon Kearney - 9 - Worked hard in defence and attack, scoring another goal.
Jake - 9 - Nothing was expected of him yet he delivered a fabulous performance.