Lemons vs. Wayland Rovers

Lucky Let Off For Lackluster Lemons

 So begins a new semesters footy related action. With it comes new hopes, dreams and aspirations. At the end of last semester and with a 9-1 defeat safely in the bag, the Lemons were on the verge of folding. Fighting within the team and a manager who would struggle to organise a gang bang in a whorehouse led to team morale being at an all time low. Just as well there was a break for Christmas which allowed the team to concentrate on what they do best. Namely eating, drinking and opening presents. Invigorated by the holiday the Lemons came back with a renewed sense of purpose, self belief as well as an average weight gain of 10kg. 

After the game vs. The Ecclesall Dynasty was called off due to an icy pitch the Lemons resumed duties against the Wayland Rovers who they had unluckily drawn 2-2 with earlier in the season despite dominating the entire game. 

With no injuries or suspensions to worry about, King was able to select a full strength team and was himself able to return after a career threatening injury.  

However with their first attack, Wayland Rovers scored, with their striker confidently waltzing past a number of half-hearted Lemons challenges before confidently dispatching the ball past the dispairing dive of King who had seemingly forgotten that his job involved more than shouting at and blaming everyone around him. 0-1

The lead lasted no more than a few minutes as the Lemons diminutive striker Kearney took a good ball from Fenwick in his stride, beat a statuesque defender before smashing the ball past the goalkeeper. 1-1

This setback did not affect Wayland as within a couple of minutes they had restored their lead. Some fannying around on the edge of their own area presented a Wayland striker with an opportunity which he duly dispatched through the legs of King which were open wider than those of a cheap hooker. 1-2

The Lemons responded to this minor setback with aplomb, with chance after chance being spurned, most notably Tom (whose surname I don't know)  who contrived to send the ball wide from 2ft after a wonderful flowing passing movement. The supporter felt that a goal was in the air and it duly came from the boot of Fenwick, leathering the ball high into the net from a good 3ft. He certainly taught the ball a lesson as well as the bemused defender who had failed to pick up the run of the crafty midfielder. 2-2

Just before the half ended so did the Lemons comeback. A freekick was awarded to Wayland as the referee decided that he hadn't used his whistle enough. Despite the presence of a wall, some random managed to curl it around the wall and past King who decided that he wouldn't move. 2-3

In this see-saw battle, the lead once again lasted only seconds as Tom had three opportunities to score, each time deciding to smash it against the keepers legs rather than put the ball in the net. His persistence/terrible finishing was captialised on by Catling who hooked the ball in from close range following a deflection off one of Tom's shots. 3-3

Half Time 3-3

The Lemons began the second half as they ended the first, laying seige to the Wayland goal yet still unable to find the net. The frustrations bolied over as pint sized stiker Kearney, determined to show off his newly acquired physique, went on a mission trying (unsuccessfully) to start fights with other players, the referee, the ball and the fence. In his defence the fence was looking at him funny. However he channeled his agressions commendably and bundled the ball home from close range after the Wayland goalkeeper seemingly substituted his gloves for some butter, allowing the ball to slip from his grasp. A stupid thing to do when a player as deadly as Kearney was lurking. 4-3

 
Buoyed by the lead the Lemons began to play some Brazil circa 1970's-esque football, pinging passes around the field with great accuracy. No goals came although the Lemons were given a chance to increase their lead when the Wayland keeper decided that he was bored of his goal and wandered outside his box. There could only be one outcome. Penalty to the Lemons. Gangly midfielder Mattinson confidently stepped up and placed the ball firmly into the bottom corner, away from the keeper. 5-3

With 5 minutes remaining the game looked over until Rich (another player whose surname I don't know) played a suicidal ball across the face of the goal which was pounced on by a Wayland forward and smashed past King in the Lemons goal. 5-4
With only seconds left, the Lemons tried in vain to let Wayland back into the game although their attempts were fruitless as they held on for the win. Next week a crunch game against the undefeated league leaders, Hunter House Harriers.

Final Score 5-4


Player Ratings

Dave King - 4 - Must perk up his ideas if he wishes to stay in the team.
Charlie Mattinson - 7 - Solid performance capped with a well taken penalty.
Adam Fenwick - 7 - Displayed a good range of passes and scored a goal. Ace!
Tom - 8 (Man Of The Match) - Battled hard and although didn't score left a few good red marks on the keepers legs.
Simon Kearney - 8 - Scored 2 and worked hard. Needs to learn to be less temperamental.
Scott Catling - 6 - Sound performance but must learn that he can't score from 30 yards on a 6-a-side pitch.
Rich - 5 - Turned up.
Indy Andy Jones - 7 - Worked hard in defence and kept their attackers quiet for the majority of the game.